Hx - Please to win moar faster at t3h med school?

I am currently halfway through week 11 of 17, including finals.  There is a month of classes left and then a week of finals.  I actually only have 3 tests left in the semester.  I keep switching between feeling really energetic and pretty burnt out; today I described it as trying to keep a flame lit when it's out of fuel.  You blow on it and it flares up, but only briefly, and then it's even closer to being out than it was before.  And I don't really understand how I made it this far.  There was more than one time where God basically picked me up and carried me through an exam (or a day or a week) in His arms like a baby, but it still seems impossible that I am still here.  And even though there is nowhere else I would rather be and nothing else I would rather be doing, it's still sort of miserable. 

This entry is totally insipid, I feel like.  But I just don't have much to say.  I fall asleep going over the next day.  I wake myself up in the middle of the night naming arteries.  All of my dreams are about classmates, and I am sick of seeing them during the daytime, let alone in my dreams, and I think this affects my unconscious and wakes me up in the night.  Then I can't wake up in the morning.  I have an anatomy exam coming up Monday that is going to beat me up because I can't really study for it because I just want to sleep all the time, which is either avoidance or exhaustion.  Maybe both. 

[sigh]

But.  Thus far, my grades are all either satisfactory or more than.  At least there's no denying that my exhaustion has been somewhat fruitful.  Like I planted an academic seed and am giving it all my energy and it's actually growing. 

Into a doctor plant. 

Or... yeah.  I'm ridiculous and tired and I'm going to go study anatomy. 


Oh and p.s. I frequently want to tell people in my class to SHUT UP.  Oh, you don't like your own lunch?  You think our dress code's too lax?  Oh, you can't find time to exercise and now you feel fat?  QQ MORE NUB UGH.  I actually started to say 'QQ' to someone the other day and barely caught myself.  I can't be bothered to explain references anymore.

Note from the future: 'QQ' looks like two big cartoon eyes crying.  You're telling someone, "Aw, go cry about it!  NOT.  In truth I have no sympathy for you so stop whining."  For you, I can be bothered.