February #2: Falling Asleep Inappropriately, Or, Radiology

I see how we got here.  In reality all it took were a series of small, logical steps.  Radiologists need to be able to see details in the scans they review, so they darken the room.  They sit down while they work, so it makes sense to have good chairs.  Radiology doesn't require a lot of talking.  And why be cold when you can be warm?  Each piece by itself is perfectly normal.  Consider the sum total, however: a warm, dark, quiet room, where you sit unmoving in a plushy chair for hours.

In short, a nap room.  Except not.  Because you're meant to be working.  Except not, because you are sleeping.

This led to a lot of painful, violent struggles between me and my brain, where it was mashing the POWER button trying to shut me down while I desperately refused to let my background programs close.  Eyelids flickering madly, I always lost.

Brain: ENVIRONMENTAL PARAMETERS MET, INITIATING SLEEP MODE

Me: What?!  No, brain!  No!  Nuuuuuu...

-pause as I fall asleep-

-radiologist suddenly starts teaching-

Radiologist*: ...be worried, not that the mediastinum appears widened here.  But since we're talking about it, what are the main-

Brain: EMERGENCY REBOOT... ONLINE

Radiologist: -causes of a widened mediastinum on a radiograph?

Me: pbbbrthftuhwhat?!  The... of a widened... they are!  Aortic dissection?  And.  Pericardial effusion.  And pneumonia, possibly, in the right middle lobe or the lingula.

Oblivious Or Perhaps Just Kind Radiologist: Good.  Pleural effusion could maybe show up like that too, but it's less likely to be central.  But like I said, we don't see that here. 

I don't think I have ever instantly snapped from sleeping to being fully awake, in a total panic, and on the spot like that before.  It hurts on some connective tissue level.  And it happened almost every day.

Also, right around this time I failed to match into an osteopathic residency.  Not as dire as it sounds, don't worry.  More on that later.

*I made this line up completely.  I have no idea what he said to start the sentence, because I was asleep.  I'm glad I caught as much of his question as I did!