tellmetellmetellmetellme

Today, during lunch hour, I went to a presentation given by INF.  They are a Christian nonprofit that is based in Nepal, where they have made an astounding impact.  A bit of history is necessary here.  Foreigners, especially white people, were not allowed into Nepal until the 50s, but a brave trio - two female doctors and a nurse - lived in India on the border with Nepal for years, running a clinic and building ties with the Nepali people who crossed over to see them, and praying and praying for the border to be opened.  They were the first ones through when it finally was, and that was the beginning of INF.  And in a country where Christians are not welcome, INF has become entrenched, providing such essential medical/ surgical and community development services that the government openly allows them to stay despite their faith.

I sat there, absorbed, and feeling both thrilled and frustrated.  It sounded fantastic, but no more than that.  Something was missing, a rising in my soul.  This isn't about being picky.  This is about waiting on the Lord's guidance.  I want so much to go overseas and serve.  The little taste I've gotten of it has only increased my appetite.  So I keep going to these presentations and meetings for Ethiopia, Afghanistan, China, India, Mexico, praying and hoping for that moment when God taps me on the shoulder and says, That's it.  There.  Go there.  I know it's coming.  I just don't know when.

I know that His timing is perfect.  He won't direct Matt and me too early or too late.  In the meantime, I'm trying to stay involved in the community I think I will be part of someday, learning about social justice and crossculturalism and the true experience of ministry and on and on.  I know that the Lord is preparing my husband and me for something specific, the way He does for all His children. 

Mostly I find rest in just knowing that there is a plan and it is a good one.  But on days like today, I just want to know what it is!  Where are we going, Lord?  What will we be doing when we get there?  -stamps foot-  And are we there yet?

I tell you, if He weren't possessed of perfect patience, He would pull this car over and give me a spanking, because I would be driving Him crazy.