I need a break!

Still here.  Took a test Friday; probably failed it.  My grade can take the hit, but it is never fun to work so hard for such terrible results.  I will find out how I actually did on Monday.  Another (really hard) test is approaching on Tuesday that I already don't have enough time to prepare for (no, I'm not joking). 

>.<

I am SO OVER IT.  I was on the phone with my madre a couple of days ago and I told her I hate school.  She really tried to convince me that I actually love school and that this is just a phase, but I really am so sick of all the constant pressure.  Three days after spring break ended I was already thinking of summer.  I'm just dying to be finished with this school year.  I want to swim and go to the beach and read books.  I want to sleep in and shadow physicians and try to remember why I'm doing this to myself and everyone who has to listen to me.  And it's tough to look ahead to third year, when things will lighten up and get a lot more interesting, because I will likely be alone then and so I am actually trying not to think about it at all, which really just means I have nothing to look forward to in the long term.  I AM GETTING DEPRESSED which is NOT HELPING and I would call myself a total slacker and a wimp except every single person in my class feels this way right now.  No wonder few people make it through med school unmedicated.

I do not like this, Sam I Am.

Okay, okay.  Positives.  Uh... the weather is getting way nicer!  And God is always so good, even in the difficult patches.  His faithfulness astounds me all the time.  Aaannd... I get to go on my first medical mission this summer which should be totally sweet.  AND my best friend since the 9th grade (she has known me almost half my life!) is coming to visit on Tuesday; that's the best thing to happen all semester.  There are good things.

[sigh]

Sorry this is such a sad panda entry.  I'm sure things will pick up soon.  I have good days, I promise.

...I think it's time for a Scripture dump.  Subject: victory/ refuge.

Psalm 44:6-8
I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame. In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.
Matthew 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
John 16:33
"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:35.37
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ....No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.
James 1:12-15
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
2 Timothy 4:18
The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory for ever and ever. Amen.